14 April 2011

A Sad Reflection

Sentimentally Speaking

I don't know if anyone else has ever done this before,
just sit and reflect on his/her life....particularly the areas of fault

I sit and I think of every action that I've had direct control over
and I ask myself, what could have I done differently?

Maybe instead of being such a foolish, self-centered woman, I could've had my eyes more open
Open to the promises that could have been fulfilled

Maybe instead of opening my mouth to speak, I should have remained silent

Maybe instead of walking forward, I should have taken a step backward

Maybe instead of playing in the secret garden, I should have been in the forest

Maybe instead of letting my soul become bitter, I should have expressed myself

Maybe I should have lived more in particular areas than others

Maybe I should have dove to the bottomless pits of the ocean instead of cutting my head open in the backyard pond

Maybe I should have supported you more instead of separating myself from you

Maybe I should have loved more, so I could have been loved more

Maybe I shouldn't have committed such acts then I wouldn't be here waiting for Karma to knock on my door and serve me with the same papers that I never thought I would've given to you

Maybe, just maybe, I should have just been better

But it makes no sense for me to sit on the porch and wait for life to rewind to those times,
All I have is the present and the future
And today, maybe right now, I'll be a better ______

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